All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
