yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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