don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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