I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
