a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
