Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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