One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
