I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
