3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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