its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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