so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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