Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your penis caused this!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
