he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Alive.
So much puke
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
