Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
