Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
