Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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