so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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