I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
