The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
