So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
