I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want her autograph on my taint
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
