we have officially lost it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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