Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
