You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
