dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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