Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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