did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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