yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
