My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
