That's intense
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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