I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
