youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
