If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
