Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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