my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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