Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
