I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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