Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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