my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
