I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
me + whiskey = a bad person
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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