My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
