I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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