I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
