D3 body, D1 cock
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
