am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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