he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
