i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize