party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
