Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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