how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
True strength comes from lack of pants
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
