I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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