I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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