Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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