Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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