We won't sleep together?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
