Non-Jews are for practice
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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