i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
