Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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