Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
