we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
