That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize