There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
