Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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