im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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