the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We have so much sex to catch up on
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
