My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
