Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
