...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
