"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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