you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
