drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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