dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
