sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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